Funny that I’m writing a post on growing up when it’s a lot too late & the only growing that’s happening is sideways 😉 Still it’s a good time to count one’s blessings as it has been indeed a very tiring week. Oh and my apologies as well for lack of posts as I’d rather post only when there’s something worthy to post compared to senseless vitriol 😉
The Most Important Years
The most important years of an individual’s life is his or her formative years as a child. During that short period of time from the ages of one to ten, this has the largest influence on the character and development of an individual towards what he or she will be in the future. Growing up as a child indeed is a process of laughing and crying, of learning and discovery, of shaping us into the individuals we will become.
Work Separates Adults from Children?
There is a view that what separates adults from children is work itself. That career, stability and confidence is what actually makes one an adult. So does one really grow up when one joins the working force? How much does the love of what one is doing for a living reflect on this as well? Does work really make a man?
Another thing we are hearing a lot about nowadays is work-life balance. The current generation of workers have a growing proportion of workforce who care a lot about how many hours they actually spend dedicated fully to work. How do we know then whether we are well-balanced between the many roles we tend to play in life – Be it as a career-person, friend, parent, activity partner or simply time for our own selves?
There is yet another point of view that life is like four quarters in a game. The first quarter you spend observing others, training and learning the rules of the game. The next quarter you start playing the game and see yourself (hopefully) excelling at the position you are playing at. The third quarter spend yourself fortifying your position and passing on your wisdom and knowledge from your battle scars to the young ‘uns. While the last quarter is about retiring and enjoying yourself. How true is this?
Still it is indeed a blessing growing up. From the satisfaction of doing a job well done. From seeing close friends getting married. From leading, nurturing and training up others to be all that they can be. Growing up maybe does have its perks compared to never neverland after all.
What does growing up mean to you?
A look at relationships partially ignited by an interesting conversation among 4 at a coffee shop
We all have wants… needs… desires. Through our beautiful glass beads, we each perceive the world translated via our senses & past memories. And for most of us, romantic love often gives way to the not wrong… nor lacking… but more practical realistic love. Yet our yearnings remain the same from financial security, to a sense of humor, to feeling loved.
Yet due to how we grow, both the male & female of this species communicate quite differently. By nature, most females tend to spend more time building relationships & generally more time talking & in social contact. Meanwhile males can bond over basketball or golf over the years yet can probably tape their entire lifetime conversation in half an hour of tape. No wonder communication between females & males are often so difficultly frustrating!
Is Love Measurable?
The key would be knowing how each individual is & responds. Of course the gender divide causes differences even in the simplest of things like showing love to each other. For example, most males would want to be loved (not meaning the verb although you could probably include that…) & be told/shown often that they are loved even though they may be so cool/macho about it. While for females, too much of that sappy stuff is usually a pain & gets boring – as women would much generally prefer fewer but more significant gifts/occasions that they can tell their friends about & keep telling to themselves again & again.
Being Best Friends
And back to communication, relationships can only really stand the test of time & arguments if one are best friends as well. It will take time to overcome the various small things that get annoying really fast but talking & listening remains the key. Love not only each other, but also many things together (yet do ensure you have your own space, interests & personal time)
Relationships & Time
Everything takes time to build & nurture. All relationships are like a banking account whereby you often need an initial investment, & after that regular savings are required together with all the withdrawals that you are making (whether intentionally or because you forgot the anniversary). Take your time to fall in love with both your eyes wide open. For love indeed is a many splendor thing.
What are some things women would like men to know (or vice-versa)?
This post is dedicated to all the silent visitors to this blog & to Pauline my business partner at Löveire Patisserie whereby we hold honesty as a very important key of doing business. Keep it up girl! 😉
Resolutions & Goals
To be honest, resolutions were never a big thing. Not that one found difficulty keeping them, but they often seemed a bit forced & only there since we were headed into a new year. However, goals are something we held as a dream to realize. Something set that we aimed for in the short, medium or long term. Something that we reviewed often & benchmarked ourselves against.
Candor & Honesty
Candor & honesty is neither really a resolution or a goal. It’s hard to describe, but probably the closest thing would best as a viewpoint or approach to life itself. In the extreme, enough of living in a sugar-coated world where we smile at each other but hold daggers behind our backs. Enough of pretending that everything is going nice & well even when he/she is deplorably bad.
Honesty brings about change. How can we know what to improve ourselves on if we don’t know the truth? How can we make the right decisions when the only picture we see is a pretty painted picture? How can we trust each other if honesty is not a reality?
Change is never easy, and often painful. Changing to be more honest or to to be a person with candor definitely falls into both. Expect people to resent you as your nice mild-mannered self becomes this perceived monster with a dagger for a tongue. Yet it is better that we tell someone if he/she sucks now, rather than he/she finding out when it’s way too late & turns into a bitter old person.
Balance even in Honesty
Yet as in almost everything, balance once comes again in the picture. Honesty needs to tempered by wisdom & timing. Honesty fails if the other party is not listening – simply walk away. Honesty fails in anger – as anger clouds the mine. It isn’t about being selectively honest, it’s about having a principle – a principle that brings about true success.
How important is honesty in our life?